


And A Little Child to Lead Them

by petpluto



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/M, POV Second Person, Romance, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-12
Updated: 2013-03-12
Packaged: 2017-12-05 03:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/718276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petpluto/pseuds/petpluto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan decides to try Heather's approach to Veronica's heart, but with ice cream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Just borrowing someone else's toys. Without permission.
> 
> Any dialogue taken from the show itself is correct courtesy of vmtranscripts.com

Great. Just great. You've yelled at an eleven year old who still believes in the power of love to overcome all obstacles because you've reached the worldly and cynical age of nineteen and know it isn't true. You, Logan Echolls? You're a jackass. You’re even more of a jackass after Melinda tells you that Heather’s Disney demeanor comes from parental strife. The kind you - and Veronica - can sadly identify with. 

You think about how she looked. Kind of awkward. Kind of tired. Kind of lost. You feel the same way. Without the prefacing 'kind of'. 

She is still beautiful. 

You want to ask her why. Why not at least give the dignity of a response to your voicemail. A 'thanks, but no thanks', at the very least. You pour out your soul, and she doesn't even have the decency to sprinkle salt in the wounds. 

You think about Heather. About her simplistic notions of what girls like. As if she could ever know what this girl in particular is like. 

And you know, deep down, that you wish you were that naive. That hopeful. You wish you had boundless optimism and the faith that you'd get the girl. 

You desperately want the girl. You wonder how different life would be if, instead of getting drunk and going to Aspen, you mourned your relationship the way you're doing now. You figure, the difference is the first time the wound was self-inflicted, and you thought she didn't care. Now, it blindsided you, and you know that she does. 

You knock on the door where Heather has barricaded herself away. Wait a second, and then knock again.

Her petulant, “Go away” only makes you more determined.

“Well, now you made me want ice cream, so... I’m going to Amy’s. Come with me if you want.”

Her grin is almost enough to make you feel better. 

“Just one thing we have to do first.”

She looks up at you, puzzled. “What’s that?” 

You sigh. “I got a good piece of advice from a pipsqueak. Something about making sure a girl knows I’m sorry. In a way that shows she knows I mean it.”

You don’t know what you’re expecting, but a squeal and getting dragged from your suite isn’t on the table. But that’s exactly what Heather does.


	2. Chapter 2

Heather is the first person in the car to break the silence. She is, because you’re too busy concentrating on how to make Veronica instantly appear before your eyes, contrite and sadly missing you. “What are we doing here?”

“We’re waiting for the ex,” you say. 

She sighs. “This is boring.”

“Yeah, stake outs usually are.”

It’s funny, being here with this kid is soothing. Her belief that everything is going to be ok makes you think that you may be able to fix this still. You think that, until you see her.

“There she is!” You think if a kid could vibrate, Heather would be practically invisible with how excited she is about this turn of events.

Veronica’s walking Backup. You and Heather approach, Heather more cautiously now. 

“Hey,” you say.

She looks startled. “Hey.”

“We,” you gesture between yourself and Heather, “were going to get ice cream from Amy’s. And I remember you liking ice cream. So, I thought maybe you could join us.”

“Logan...” She sounds exhausted. She gnaws at her lip. You know her. She’s trying to figure out a way to say no without saying no to a kid. You can feel the boyish grin start to peek out when you realize she can’t figure a way out. Bringing Heather with you was an awesome idea. “Sure. I could use some ice cream. Just let me walk Backup, and we can go.”

“Sure, whatever. We can walk with you.” You know you’re grinning like a doof, now, because Heather is looking up at you and grinning along. You’re sure you both look like a pair of idiots, but Veronica offers a sweet smile to both of you.

“And who are you?” Veronica asks Heather.

The kid gestures to herself. “Heather. Dick took my sister to Vegas and got married. Left me here with Mopey.”

Veronica doesn’t blink at the news of Dick’s wedded bliss; she just looks at you, mouths, “Mopey?”

Heather, of course, sees. And, of course, decides to describe his mopeyness. “He smelled like he hadn’t showered in weeks,” she states dramatically, throwing her arm out. Veronica chuckles. “And he wouldn’t get out of bed. And he was just staring at this picture of you on his computer. It was sad.” You blush, and Veronica looks surprised. “Hey, can I walk your dog?”

“Sure,” she says faintly. Snaps out of it for a second to say, “Backup, be chill.”

The dog and girl lope off without a look back. You try to recover. “It sounds worse than it is.”

“I’ve been throwing myself into cases,” she confides. “If I don’t stop and think for a while, I can get out of bed, shower, and not stalk you.”

You’re surprised. “You would stalk me?”

She shrugs. “Sure. I’ve wanted to. Weevil wanted to cube your car.” She pauses. “I told him no.”

“Why did Weevil want to cube my car?”

She flushes. “I asked him to cube a car. He assumed it would be yours.”

You grin. “And whose car did Weevil end up cubing?”

“No one’s,” she says quickly. “And don’t breathe a word of this to anyone, because Weevil is still out on parole, so doing it for me would get him in a lot of trouble.”

You nod. “Alright.”

“But if it would have been anyone’s, the plan would have been for it to happen to Madison.”

You stop, grab her arm. Turn her to you. “You didn’t.”

“No. I just had Weevil boost it and then put a can of tuna in the A/C.”

You laugh at that. “What stopped you?”

“Honestly? A case.” She pauses. “This guy was a reverend. He said a bunch of stuff about anger, and about forgiveness. I guess, I just... ...I want to be better than I am.” She gives a sad little laugh. “Weevil thinks I’m getting soft.”

“Uh, is that a problem? What Weevil thinks?”

She looks directly at you. “You know, yes. You and Weevil and Wallace and Mac are the only people outside of my dad I depend on. And, so, yeah, Weevil’s opinion matters. I guess I just have to weigh that against what I think is right.”

You can’t do anything but nod again. You walk with her a ways, and you both keep an eye on Heather and Backup. They’re running up and down a short stretch of beach, Backup taking off into the water and then running full tilt at Heather before doubling back again. A few peaceful moments pass. You start to feel at ease. You want to feel more at ease, but a question is naggling at the back of your brain.

“So, you forgive Madison, but not me?”

She looks thoughtful. “I don’t forgive Madison. I just didn’t want to go full throttle yet. I still haven’t decided if I want Mac to ruin her transcript. Or if she can. I don’t know if Madison will give her a lot to work with.” She stares out into the ocean. “And as for you? I haven’t, yet. I feel nauseous whenever I think of Aspen. Or Colorado. Or skiing in general. It’s like I have this movie constantly in my head, running around and around of what you did with her, when. You know what I did over break?”

You shake your head. “No.”

“I ate a lot of ice cream and Italian food, cleaned the apartment, hung out with Mac and watched bad action movies, hung out with Wallace and watched the South Park movie, and thought about you. A lot. I thought about you a lot. And to find out that you were there, with her, doing...” Her jaw tightens. “Anyway.”

“I was drunk,” you offer. “I was drunk and she was there and it didn’t mean anything.”

“To you.”

“What?”

“It didn’t mean anything to you. Because it means a hell of a lot to me. And it seemed to be pretty significant to Madison too.”

You sigh. “It’s just sex, Veronica.”

“No, it’s not. I know you and Lilly always made fun of me for being a prude, but I am. And if you can just go off and sleep with anyone without it mattering, then that means I don’t matter.”

“Is that why you didn’t call me back after I left that voicemail? Because you think I don’t think you matter?”

“You mean the one where you were ranting about how I’m somehow to blame for Madison telling me about your little meeting? No, I didn’t call you back because you were pretty clear how you felt that this was all my fault.”

You feel like you’ve been hit by something heavy. Larger than a truck. Larger than a building. Maybe some kind of meteorite. The one that wiped out the dinosaurs. “You - you listened to the whole thing?”

Heather is bounding back up the beach with Backup trotting gently behind her. Veronica turns to you; and for a second, she looks devastated before she puts back on her mask of indifference. “I listened to enough.”

For the second time that day, you feel like you owe an eleven year old an apology. “Yeah, that wasn’t the whole -”

“Hey!” Heather is breathless and looks happy. “Can we get ice cream now?”

Veronica bends down and nuzzles her dog. “Um, I think Backup and I may just head up. I’ll see you later, Logan.”

You feel like the earth is moving faster than you can manage to. You see her start to head back toward her apartment, and you can’t make yourself move to go stop her. It’s Heather - again - who rushes after her. 

“No! You can’t go!”

Veronica looks bewildered. “Why?”

“Because! I need someone else to hang out with. He’s not fun. I need someone fun.” Heather looks proud of herself for this, and you bristle. But Veronica deflates, and says she’ll be right back after returning Backup. 

“Who are you, Cupid?” you growl. Heather grins triumphantly. 

“So?”

“So?” You echo her.

“You guys were talking.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Yes.” Heather just blinks expectantly at you. “You may have been right. She may not know how I feel.” 

She jumps up in the air. It’s almost like she knows you, how excited she’s getting over this. “I knew it!”

“Hold on, short stuff.” You put your hand on her head to prevent further expulsions of giddiness. “You were right about that, but I might be right, too. I don’t know if I can fix this. And I need you to recognize that. Sometimes a thing gets so broken, you can’t find a way to make it work.”

She scowls at you. “Sure, it’s easy to let things get that broken when you won’t do anything to fix it.”

You gape at her. Veronica comes around the side of the car. “We ready?”

“Yeah,” you say, as you open the passenger door for her. “Climb on in.” 

Heather rolls her eyes and gets in the back.


	3. Chapter 3

You aren’t surprised when you get to Amy’s and Weevil is standing at the entrance, glowering at anyone who looks reasonably clean as they scurry on by him. Heather gasps and grabs at your hand as you all approach, though.

“So, was Weevil your first choice for a buffer?” you ask as you pull Heather a little closer to you than necessary. Taking comfort from the faith of an eleven year old as well as giving comfort to that eleven year old. It feels like a remarkably ungrown up thing to do.

Veronica gives you a sideways glance. “Wallace had class and Mac has a date.”

“Well, at least there’s that,” you mutter.

Weevil doesn’t say anything as you approach him. He just gives you a death glare and then passes that same one on to Veronica.

“Vee,” he starts. Heather tightens her grip on your hand.

“Later, Weevil.”

“This is going on your tab, Vee. The quid pro quo of our agreement is getting mighty skewed.”

“Oh, stuff it,” Veronica snaps. Heather gapes at her. “You’re getting free ice cream out of this. What could possibly be better?”

“Not watching you and Echolls make kissy faces at each other, that would be better.”

You turn to watch Veronica’s face. She’s looking down. “There won’t be any kissy faces.”

“Uh huh.” Weevil doesn’t look convinced. “Sure there won’t be. He hurt you, Veronica. Just let it go already.”

You don’t defend yourself. Heather sees this, and steps in as well as an eleven year old can with, “Yeah? What do you know?” And quickly ducks behind you and Veronica.

Weevil looks taken aback. To Veronica, he says, “You call me here, and there’s a kid? What the hell? That’s not enough of an obstacle to you dropping your panties?” 

You start, but Veronica holds onto your arm. “And as for you,” Weevil continues, directing his vitriol at Heather, “Since I’m out of grade school and I know Vee, I think know more than you do.”

“Weevil,” Veronica intones, her voice filled with warning. And just like that, Weevil puts up both of his hands in surrender and turns toward Amy’s.

“I better get a big fucking cone, Vee. Four scoops. At least.”

“Don’t curse in front of the kid, Weevs,” she requests, and they head into the shop before you and Heather. Heather is pulling you back.

“Yeah?” You bend down to her level.

She looks put out. “Who is that guy?”

“Him?” You look through the glass at Weevil. “He’s like, her bodyguard.”

“Why does she have a bodyguard?” Heather asks. “And I don’t like him.”

“Yeah, I don’t either.” You tell her. You stand back up. “But, Veronica does. And she needs a bodyguard because she does dangerous things.”

“Like eating ice cream with you and me?” Heather looks skeptical.

You laugh. “No.” It’s hard explaining Weevil to a kid. It’s harder explaining Weevil and Veronica. “He’s a friend of hers, and he wants to protect her.”

“From you?” You fight back the bitter laugh at her incredulous tone.

“Don’t worry about it. He’s just there to make her feel better.”

Heather seems assuaged. “Because breaking up hurt her too,” she says, as if she gets it, and you two walk in.

“Yeah. Listen, there’s an ice cream in here called Cookie Monster that I think you should try. It’s blue. Like the Sesame Street character.”

“I’m not a kid.” You look at her. “Well, I am. But that doesn’t mean I only get kid things. I like grown up ice cream.”

Veronica walks up with a big cone of Cookie Monster ice cream. It’s dripping down and is going to reach her hand, so you grab her wrist and gently lick the advancing drops. She flushes at the contact. You try not to look at Heather, but you’re pretty sure she’s giving off rays the way she’s beaming. “Uh, we’re at a table on the left side. You know, so you can find us after you get done ordering.”

“Right.” You haven’t dropped her wrist yet, and she’s not pulling away. She’s still staring into your eyes. You’re thinking about adopting Heather. Taking care of a pre-teen can’t be that difficult. You buy her some clothes, some tickets to the coolest pop group’s concert, feed her... The kid’s practically self-sufficient anyway.

“So you should,” Veronica’s voice is light and breathy, “you should probably get in line.”

“Right.” You let go of her wrist, slowly. She touches it with her other hand, and then licks the cone as she looks at you with wide eyes.

For the first time, Heather ruins the moment by tugging at your hand. “Come on. I want ice cream. I want Veronica’s ice cream.”

Veronica grins. You smirk at her and maintain eye contact as you say, “Really? I thought you decided Cookie Monster was just for kids. That you wanted grown up ice cream.”

“No.” Heather is resolute. “I want what Veronica’s having.”

“You’ve already got my shirt. Why not complete the ensemble with the best in Amy’s cones?” She snarks.

You smile and wave as Heather drags you into line and she heads back to the table. “Oh. My. God. That was awesome. It was like that moment in Sleepless in Seattle! You’re totally back in. I rule!”

“Keep it down. She’s going to hear you.” You feel a little giddy yourself. You hope leaving her with Weevil won’t ruin whatever just happened there. But at least you know there’s still a there, there.

“Are you going to do it?”

You blink. “Do what?”

“Make like a big declaration of your love! Oh! You could, um...”

You can’t help but smile indulgently at her enthusiasm. “I think, what we’re going to do, is get ice cream. And then we’re going to sit down and talk with Veronica and Weevil. And then I’m going to ask Veronica if she and I can talk.” He pauses. “And then I’m going to leave you with Weevil so he can sell you on the black market.”

She’s nodding until you get to the end. “You want to leave me with that guy?”

“Maybe. If it goes well. Or if it doesn’t. Don’t worry. I’m sure he won’t get a lot for you.” She sniffles. “I’m joking. Mostly. I may leave you with Weevil. But. Can I tell you a secret? Weevil is like the human equivalent of Backup.”

She shakes her head. “No way.”

You nod. “Not really, no. But for this, yes. He listens to Veronica. If she tells him to be nice to you, he’s going to be nice to you. Well, as nice as he knows how to be, anyway.”

You reach the counter in record time, which you can only count as a sign.

“I can’t believe you only let me get two scoops,” Heather complains as you walk toward Weevil and Veronica.

“I can’t believe you thought I was going to let you get four,” you respond, smiling shyly at Veronica. She smiles back. Weevil grimaces.

“Yeah, well, I can’t believe you ordered plain old vanilla ice cream. Who does that?” Heather scoffs.

“My life’s been a little too exciting lately,” you say quietly, risking a glance at Veronica. She looks down at her cone.

“Vee, you’re dripping everywhere,” Weevil says gruffly, before taking a bunch of napkins and wiping her hand off as she transfers the cone to the other one. “You gotta get a bowl if you want that much ice cream.”

“But I love the cone,” she tells him petulantly.

“Yeah, maybe the cone isn’t good for you. Maybe the cone can’t be what you need.” 

“You know, Weevil, if I hadn’t been in your English class to know better, I’d say you were trying to create a metaphor there.” You smile sunnily, but you’re sure it doesn’t reach your eyes. Heather tenses.

“Logan,” Veronica glares at you. “Play nice.”

“But he was mean first,” Heather exclaims, glaring at Weevil.

Veronica looks torn. “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean Logan has to be mean back.”

Heather continues in her outrage. “But you only yelled at Logan.”

Weevil looks guardedly amused. Veronica looks stymied. You’re pretty sure Heather just pointed to a glaring issue in your relationship with Veronica, so you look at her and raise your eyebrows. Daring an explanation.

“I didn’t - Weevil, be nice.”

“Why did you only yell at Logan first though?” Heather persists.

Veronica looks at her, looks at you, and then turns to Weevil. “Don’t take this the wrong way, okay?” Weevil grins and nods. She turns to Heather. “I expect more out of Logan, sometimes. I expect him to be the bigger person. Like, right now, I need him to recognize how I feel about Weevil, and be nice to Weevil for me.”

“So, you love Logan more.” Heather looks pleased.

“No.” You can feel your heart plummeting. You feel sick. Veronica isn’t looking at you. She isn’t looking at Weevil either. She alternates between the napkin she’s turning around and around in her hand and Heather. 

“I lo - I love them differently.” You start. So does Weevil. Veronica’s entire focus is on her napkin now. She’s not even trying to maintain eye contact with Heather anymore. “I just depend on them for different things, a lot of the time.” She doesn’t say anything else. She looks small, and exhausted, and you want to pull her to you. The silence at the table is oppressive. You don’t know what to think about the fact that the first time Veronica Mars admitted to loving you, it’s to a kid she doesn’t know over ice cream, in the same breath as admitting she loves Weevil of all people.

Heather shifts uncomfortably and Veronica’s focus is brought back to her. “That’s probably not a great explanation, right?” She gives Heather a small smile. Heather hesitantly smiles back, and shakes her head no.

“You know, there was a second half of that voicemail you deleted,” You hear yourself say. This was something you had been hoping to do without an audience. Without Weevil. And without Heather. But Veronica has given you an opening. “I know I started out like an asshole, because I am an asshole. But I - I dialed it back in the second part, the real part. So, here’s the second part that I really wish could have been the first part. And that I could have been smart enough to not leave the real first part at all.”

They’re all staring at you, and you know you’re rambling. You know you’re making a fool out of yourself, but you can’t help it. You reach over and take her hand, and say, “Veronica, I’m really, really glad you expect more from me. I - I’m really happy you still think so highly of me that you’re always disappointed when I screw up, and that you never let me just be a fuck up.” Her eyes dart over to Heather for a second, and you laugh. “Like, right now, when I’m saying ‘fuck’ in front of a kid. Look, I did it again. I don’t know the last time anyone other than you actually expected anything out of me. And it hu-hurts when I hurt you.

“I am so, so sorry for what happened in Aspen. I - I would take it back if I could. I would give anything to take back that night, just so I could avoid putting you through this. I’m sorry I’ve caused you pain. I’m so sorry for that. I’m sorry I did it, and I’m sorry I wasn’t the one to tell you. I love you, Veronica. I love you so much that it kills me that I hurt you.” You pause. Veronica is staring at you, but not shaking her hand loose. “So, uh, call me back.”

She looks like she’s on the verge of tears. She’s still staring into your eyes though. “Weevil?”

“Yeah, Vee?”

“Can you sit with Heather for a couple of minutes.”

Weevil sighs. “Yeah, Vee. And I know this probably isn’t the right time, but - kissy faces.”

She laughs, and touches the tip of her nose with her sleeve. Weevil hands her more napkins. “Thanks. Um, you want the rest of my cone?”

Weevil pulls her into a half hug as he takes the cone, and says, “Chica, for all this, I’m thinking I get your cone and then some.”

She snorts and nods. “Yeah. I’ll have to buy you a nice dinner.”

“And then some.” Weevil decisively licks the cone. Veronica nods at you and heads toward the door.

You turn to Heather. “You good here, small fry?”

She looks at Weevil appraisingly. “You say he’s like Backup?”

You ignore Weevil’s angry “Hey!” and say, “Yup. Just like Backup. And just like Backup, if you have any problems, you go straight to Veronica.”

She nods. “Nice big romantic gesture, by the way.”

You shrug. “Well, it’s no 98 Degrees, but I do what I can.”

“Duh, I requested Nick Lachey. He’s so much better without the rest of the group.”

“I am appalled that I know who you’re talking about. Well, off to see if my heartfelt declaration has wooed my love’s heart.”

Weevil snorts. “Yeah, tell you what though, no matter what Vee says, you and I still have to have a talk.” He glares at you. “And if I know anything about boy bands when you come back, that talk might be even less pleasant than its already scheduled to be.”

“Play nice, kiddies.”

Weevil scoffs. “Like I’m going to be horrible to an eight year old.”

You head toward the door to the echoes of Heather’s outraged, “I’m eleven!”


	4. Chapter 4

When you get outside, you can hear Veronica on the phone with someone. You get closer, and you hear, “Yeah, the deleted file.” She pauses. “I didn’t mean to delete it.” She gets quiet again. “Ok, so I meant to delete it then. I want to undelete it now.” She rolls her eyes. “Mac, just - is it doable?” She nods, even though Mac can’t see her. “Great, ok. Thanks.” Pauses again. “No, I won’t tell you what was in the message.” Laughs. “I know you can listen to it without me. I’m asking you not to.” There’s another pause, and you choose to move into view. “Yeah, ok. Mac? I’m going to have to call you later. Bye.”

You’re not sure where to start. So you open with, “Hey.”

“Hey.” She fidgets. “You know, when I woke up this morning, I didn’t think there’d be any grand declarations in my future.”

You smirk. “Well, I have to keep you on your toes.” You nod toward the phone. “Checking out my story? Making sure this isn’t a case of my faking affection for you.”

“No. I just... I want to hear the original. I want to see how it holds up.”

You laugh. “I’m pretty sure the one in there blew the other one away. It was longer, at least.”

She smiles her sweet smile. “Yeah. But this is like the opposite of the epic speech, so I want a copy.”

“The epic - oh.”

“Yeah. I mean, last time, I heard you and you didn’t remember. And this time, I didn’t hear it and you tracked me down and made me listen.”

You ruffle your hair. “Thank Heather. I thought you were ignoring me. I was in a bad place.” You step toward her. “I never would have even done anything if she hadn’t been pushing for it all weekend.”

“She’s a cute kid. Too bad she’s got Dick for a brother-in-law.” You snort. “And a sister who would make Dick her brother-in-law.”

“Don’t worry about that. Apparently they’re already heading for divorce court.”

Veronica grins. “Bummer.”

“Yeah, wedded bliss doesn’t last nearly as long as it used to.” You pause. “So, uh, as nice as that was, what we did there with Dick, I have to know what you think.”

“Hmm... I think that my father is just never going to get me that pony.”

You shuffle closer. “Veronica. What do you think? About what I said?”

She looks down. “Honestly, Logan, I don’t know what to think.” She looks up at you, shiny blue eyes, sparkling. “It was wonderful. It made me feel special. But you have always been able to say the thing that makes me feel special. It’s the doing part that you don’t have down.”

“I get that. But what do you need me to do?”

“I need you to not sleep with other people!” She looks away. “And I know it’s crazy. I mean, I know we’re broken up. But you tell me that you love me, or you tell me that we’re epic, and you make me believe you, and then I find you with someone’s step mom or I find out that you slept with Madison, and it just - it makes all the words you say mean nothing.”

You’re reeling. “Veronica. I do love you. I love you more than anything.”

“Yeah? Sometimes you have a really crappy way of showing it.” 

“You don’t believe that I love you.”

She looks at you, reaches for your hand. “Logan. I don’t know what to believe. I want so badly for you to love me. And I want to be what you need. But I’m still who I am. And we have such different ways of looking at the whole relationship thing that I wonder if we could ever make it work.”

You look down at the ground. “In there, you said you loved me.” She nods. “That’s the first time you’ve ever said that.”

“It - It’s hard for me to say.” She looks worn and torn.

“Why?”

“People leave. I say it, and people leave. You left. I was so alone, and it hurt so much, and it is just hard for me to leave myself open like that. But I do feel it. I do.”

You laugh. “We are so fucked up.”

She sniffs and laughs a quiet little laugh of her own. “So, what do we do?”

You pause. “Do you think you can work through this with me?”

“I - I think so. I want to.” You smile and pull her close. She puts up a hand. “But first I have to stop seeing you and Madison together, all the time, in my head.”

You stop short. “I guarantee you, whatever you’re thinking, it didn’t happen.”

“I’m thinking you had sex.”

You nod. “Yeah, but however you’re picturing it, I’m positive you’re wrong about it.”

You almost miss her quiet, “Why do you think that?”

You wave a hand. “Because you’re probably thinking it was all impassioned and hot and that I was into it. You’re probably thinking that it was, well, good. And it wasn’t. I hated myself even while I was there. I wasn’t into it. It was just a ‘pity me’ fuck, and it wasn’t pretty. When I say it meant nothing, I mean it, Veronica. It meant less than nothing.”

Her chin wobbles. “Then how could you do it?”

“Because. I was depressed and I was drunk. And it was sex. It’s what I do, Ronica. I wish I could say something different. But it’s how I deal. You clean and bake. I drink and I fuck wildly inappropriate people and pray I never have to tell you about it when you take me back.”

“I’m never going to be okay with that,” she says resolutely.

You nod. “I’m not asking you to be. Judge your heart out, Veronica. Keep me on the straight and narrow. But, do you think you can deal with the fact that, in the past, when I wasn’t with you, I had an absolutely terrible way of dealing?”

“Can I - can I think about it? I need to process.” You swallow, and wonder how much longer you can wallow in your room before Dick throws you down the garbage shoot. “But, I’d like to process this with you.”

“Yeah,” you breathe. “That sounds good.”

“I’m not going to be good about this,” she warns. “I’m probably going to throw it in your face and generally be nasty when it comes all up for me again. And I’m asking you to not flip out on me for it. At least, not a lot.”

“Ok.”

She lets out a breath. “Ok. Let’s go and save Weevil from Heather. He’s probably ready to tear out his non-existent hair.” She kisses you softly. “After we liberate Eli, I gotta go to lock up to check on a client. But I’ll come by your place after?”

You feel light. “Yeah. That’d be great. Better than great.”


	5. Chapter 5

Heather is bounding along in front of you down the hall as you approach the elevator. “Did you know his name is really Eli? Where do you think ‘Weevil’ came from?”

“I don’t really know,” you say, amused that Weevil won her over in such a short amount of time.

“He really likes Veronica,” she tells you after she doubles back to grab your hand and proceeds to swing your arm back and forth. “He says that she’s his girl. I asked him what that meant, because that sounds like girlfriend, and he said that he’s responsible for making sure she’s okay. That’s why he’s so hard on you.”

“Did he say that?”

Heather stops and looks at the button. You give her the go-ahead. “No. But, I mean, it makes sense. If she was anything like you were, he’d be pissed, right?”

You know that for Veronica to be anything like you were, it would mean letting people see her hurting. And Veronica doesn’t do that. But you say, “Yeah, he would be.”

“So, you guys can all be friends.”

You don’t tell her that you’re always going to be jealous of Weevil in some weird way. And that Weevil will probably never forgive you for being with Lilly proper when he wasn’t allowed to be. You just smile. The elevator stops at your floor, and you say, “So what’s the verdict, Pint Size?”

“Okay, this is better than the place I used to go with my parents,” she concedes.

“Well, with age comes wisdom.” You ignore the fact that she got you (tentatively) the girl. “You know, you can play Mario Kart online. We should have a weekly game or something, keep you sharp.” You open the door.

“Quit flirting with me, old man. You have a girlfriend again. And I'm eleven.” You grin at her. “Jeez, that’s creepy.”

You walk in on Dick and his wife battling it out, and you and Heather both seem to be getting the same amount of enjoyment out of it. 

“Ah, newlyweds,” you drawl, bringing the attention square on you.

“Where the hell have you been? I've been waiting to go for like twenty minutes,” Melinda barks.

“I was playing Cupid,” Heather returns. Dick looks at you worriedly. You can feel your grin expand as you stand there looking back at him.

“Oh, no. Tell me you didn’t get him back with Veronica Mars.”

Melinda glances back at him, and then turns her attention back to Heather. “Get your stuff. Let’s go.”

You watch as she gathers up her bookbag. “Fridays at four are good for me,” she tells you, and she hugs you before she goes. You hug her back, feeling lighter than you have in weeks, since even before Veronica discovered the truth about Madison.

She trails off after Melinda, and you turn your attention to Dick. “There goes the old ball and chain, huh?”

Dick looks disgusted. “Dude, I thought we were done with Ronnie.”

“Truthfully, Dick, I don’t think I’m ever going to be done with her. She’s just the gift that keeps on giving.” You pause. “If I were you, I’d rethink divorce. Heather’s worth whatever is freakish about Melinda.”

Dick glares at you. “Come on. She’s like twelve. I’m going to go shower.”

You hum and work on making the suite look habitable, and then wonder if you should leave it the wreck that it is so Veronica sees what being without her does to you. She did say she needs more deeds, but you’re not so sure this level of pathetic is what she had in mind.

When she knocks a little while later, Dick is the one to answer the door. 

“What’d you do to get back here, Ronnie?”

Veronica comes in. “I guess I have you to thank for that, Dick. Your sister-in-law is quite the match maker. I think she has a future in it.”

You come out of your room and cross over to her. “Hey, you.”

She smiles bashfully. “Hey.”

You enfold her in your arms. “You know, once upon a time, I gave you a key. I don’t remember getting it back.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t sure if I should use it still.” She kisses you, and you smile into it. “Should we talk?”

“I guess we should. I’ll lead the way, since it’s been so long.”

She glances at the rest of the suite. “Is it just me, or have you guys lost your maid service?”

“It’s hard to get the maids to clean when one of the occupants won’t get off the couch to let them,” Dick shoots at her.

Veronica stops. “You were miserable.”

“Yes.”

She steps toward you. “You know, I shouldn’t say this, especially in front of Dick, but that makes me happy. Because I wasn’t exactly in stellar condition either.”

You pull her closer. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good. Because Dick was convinced you were cackling all over town.”

“Oh, I was, but that was just to hide the excruciating pain of it all.”

You kiss her again. And then again. “Good to know.” Continue kissing her as you lead her to your room. “So, light o’ my life, what should we discuss? Because I’m thinking it should be something along the lines of where we should vacation this summer.”

“I’d like for you to get tested for STDs. I’ll do the same.” 

“Well, that’s much less fun. But alright. Why you too?”

She sighs. “Because the last time I didn’t think I had anything, it turns out I had the clap, so I’m also keen on making sure I’m clean. And because I’m trying to make this a ‘not about you’ thing.”

You nod. “Even though it is.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I can live with that.” You both sit there awkwardly for a second. “Anything else?”

“Yeah. I’d like for you to be all in this time around.”

Affronted, you exclaim, “Veronica, I’m always all in.”

She looks at her hands. “I know that you feel that way, but... You don’t tell people that we’re together. The girls from your classes, the girl at the front desk, half of campus, I’m just ‘friend’. I - I’m trying, here, Logan, I really am. But I need to feel like... I want people to know. I want you to tell people.”

“I didn’t know that bothered you so much.”

She leans back. “Yeah, well, it did. And it bothers me more now.” She looks nervous. “So, uh, do you have anything to add?”

You’re stunned. “I’m sorry?”

“Weevil mentioned that I tend to accuse him of crime when I’m feeling vulnerable. Well, he put it differently, but that was the gist. And so it got me thinking about you. And me. And I do know that you’ve mentioned things before that didn’t go over so well, so I was wondering if you have anything for me to work on. You know, too.”

“We’re going tit-for-tat here?”

“Something like that. I’m trying something new.”

You sigh. “Okay, you know what I would like? I’d like for you to tell me that you love me.”

Veronica swallows. “I do.”

“I know. But I need you to say it.” You look at her from the side. She breathes in and out like she’s about to run a race.

“Logan, I love you.” She meets your eyes. “I really do.”

You smile. “Now, you say you love me. But are you in love with me?”

“Okay, now you’re just being a jackass.”

“Yeah, I am.” You pull her down onto the bed so you’re laying facing each other. “Veronica Mars, I love you. And you are my girlfriend. And I’ll be sure to tell people that.”

“Thank you.” She kisses your nose. “So, I was thinking.”

“Yeah?”

“The best way to erase bad memories is to make good ones, right?”

You squint at her. “Yeah.”

She starts kissing you, pulling at your shirt. You break away.

“Veronica, we don’t have to do this.”

She kisses you again. “I know. But I want to. I want to do this. And I want to do this with you.”

“What time should I set the alarm for?”

She looks at you innocently. “Why would we need an alarm?”

“So you can get back home to your dad?”

She furrows her brow. “Oh. Right.” Crawls toward you. “I told him I wasn’t coming home tonight.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” She pulls off her shirt. “I told him I was staying here with you.”

You tackle her further on to the bed. She giggles up a storm as you kiss her. “That is the best news I’ve ever heard.”

In the morning, you kiss her goodbye and accompany Dick to class with a spring in your step. Dick shakes his head at you. “Dude, you know this is going to go the way it always goes with Ronnie, right? The girl is like, an incubus.”

“She’s not, because an incubus is a guy.”

Dick leers at him. “You’ve always said she’s kind of butch.” Points to their room. “You coming?”

You smirk. “Let the learning begin.” Hold up an apple to your professor. “Miss me?”

Class is, as it typically is, incredibly boring. You can’t wait to get out and meet up with Veronica. Maybe introduce her to random passersby as your girlfriend. Make her smile. 

As you’re leaving, you get a text from Weevil saying only “V got arrested”. Well, you think, that’s strangely normal. It’s right back to the world of dating Veronica Mars. You head toward the station, and wonder when they’ll let you visit her.


End file.
